Damned Chreasters!
Happy Easter to all of my Jesus lovin’ followers!!!
Now I would like to vent a little. Mass was a shit show this morning. I always forget about the damned Chreasters until I get to church and see the hoards of people rushing inside the sanctuary. This is usually where I start cursing to myself and debate whether or not to attend Mass. I have only turned around once in the past, and it was on an Easter service…because it tends to be the worst of the two (people blame bad weather conditions in December…plus I am usually playing my instrument for Mass, so I have that firm commitment there…). I don’t understand why people think attending two Masses in a year will save them from eternal damnation. With that people said, for those going for that reason, I think miss the whole point of what Church is about. Then again, I could be wrong…they might have it correct…but I am still going to attend more frequently since I have more to make up for (ya know…the ‘mo’ factor….). Plus, I don’t want to be reincarnated as a grasshopper destined to be caught by some 6 year old and held for the rest of my days in a glass jar. I want to have the ‘in’ with the big woman upstairs to have a pick. ;-)
I got inside today, and it was just packed (and with all the wrong kinds of people). Now I know that ‘God’ loves everyone in all their various ways…but today was a little ridiculous. I think a People of Walmart photo shoot could have successfully taken place. Now, I’m growing peeved because I don’t get my normal seat in my normal pew. In fact, I find a seat way off to the left by some emergency door. Isn’t that a privilege as a regular attendee; an unspoken claim to sit where you want? I like to sit in the middle right up front. I like to be within clear priest viewing distance so I can scour at appropriate times or give ‘come hither’ faces. Today, this was not happening. Whatever.
Back to me, sitting not where I want to be amongst the crowd- it’s hot. The gross amounts of people filled up the room with a thick layer of stank too. I was almost glad for the one alter boy skipping down the isles with the Frankenscents. Obviously in modern day, it’s to mask the poor hygiene habits of the people.
On top of this all, the priest drags in all of these guest speakers to read passages, and the bell choir treats Mass like it’s their opening debut…f this s! All I wanted to do was go in, listen to some fables, and personally reflect on my past week and future week to think about how I can be the best man I can be in life right now.
The Chreasters were a giant buzzkill for this happening!!!
Chreaster: (krē’stər)
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(n.) A person who attends their place of worship only on major holidays, such as Christmas and Easter.
Origins: The contraction of the words, Christmas and Easter.
Example: The Chreasters are coming! The Chreasters are coming!
I'm Pätrick. I quadruple majored in undergrad while living in Pittsburgh. I did my first two years of medical school in Boston. Now I'm doing my last two (or more) here in New York.
